ennaiv

I’ve never felt that same tranquility I felt in the island. For so long it has always been my time that swallows me, it was the one commanding me. But there, I felt forever. It seems that I’m the one in control of my life, of my time… Maybe three days off was all I needed to put the pieces of my life back. There, I was able to throw away the excess baggages I have been carrying all along. There, I realized the beauty of everything. The crystal sea, the white sand, the wonderful coral reefs, everything was splendid! For a while I didn’t feel the burden. For a while, my heart became numb from pain. The serenity in the island gave me a glimpse of everything I have been dreaming of. It was there that I get to appreciate the grandeur of simple things. The serene way the waves approach the shore, the magnificent setting of the sun, the perfect touch of white sand on the skin, the soft breeze – just everything there was perfect. I was fascinated; but mostly, I fell in love with the place. Definitely I’m going back, not just to explore the place, but also to experience stillness in my life… Once again…

I thought we shared a life that was full of love

but now I realize we shared an empty hope

I will cry my last cry..

I can’t play this game
I’m just wasting my time

You leave me with no other choice
But to say goodbye

I want to work things out
But what’s the point of it if
I have to be in love alone

It’s not worth it anymore..

It’s hard for me to say goodbye

We did out best to make things right
I’m sorry,
I’m sorry, but we tried…

enough! im tired!

       its all over.. just stay away..

but now i find no reason to stay..
        for you’re giving me all the reasons to go away!

 
 

i quit.. its time to give up. there’s no reason for me to keep you, for you’ve changed. you’ve always been sweet and caring, you’ve always been there for me.. but where were you now? now that i needed u badly? where’s the shoulder i used to cry on before? the hand that gives me a pat at my vack, the voice which never failed to say ‘hush’?? The listening ears, and comforting words.. i miss them so much..

i now cant feel even an inch of care from you.. don’t you know that i need you?? dont you know how much i long for you?? how much i miss you?? but you’re nowhere.. i can’t even remember your smile, nor your laughter.. for i cant find myself laughing with you anymore. i now can’t remember the feeling of having you beside me..

but im ready.. you’re free! im now comfortable being alone.. you made me become used to it.. you made me stand up on my own feet, you made me the person i never thought id become.. someone strong enough to let you go, and brave enough to say ‘go on.. leave me.. for im better without you!..

its hard, yeah.. but it feels good.. i feel lighter, and better! just go..

"SO WHY DON’T YOU GO YOUR WAY AND I’LL GO MINE.. LIVE YOUR LIFE, AND I’LL LIVE MINE.. GO AWAY AND I’LL BE FINE, COZ WE’RE BETTER OFF SEPARATED.."

I feel nothing but emptiness

 Because you
weren’t here.

The once deep-rooted friendship we’ve shared,

 Have turned
to dust.

The unusual solace a have always found in you,

 I never
felt it again.

A herald of joy and perfection you once proved to be,

But you never kept it.

Our connections, attempts to hide our sorrows,

ebbed suddenly

The masked impression you gave me was destroyed.. thus,

Revealing your trueself of a black shadow,

Of a fake angel and unbearable
lies..

You’re no longer the friend I once knew,

i may not have done my part.. but i tried. u see, i just wanted us to keep what we had from the start. i just wanted to be happy,. im not asking for anything.. just a simple thought or concern would do.. im not deMANding time, nor any attention from you.. but still u failed to be there for me.. you failed to keep me, to keep our friendship.. we were too busy with our lives, and its our bond which suffered.  ur now beyond my reach.. you seem to be a stranger now.. and im tired of trying to settle things. trully, it wont work with a one sided effort.. so i give up.. its just too hard..

you’re far.. too far

        for my heart to reach you. yet,

the distance does not make my fury subside.

              it doesn’t change the rage i feel,

     the scar you’ve given me, won’t heal now..

your shadows kept haunting me..

      my dreams, my visions.. it constantly

          reminds me of our past.. once

beautiful past which i would have

   gladly forgotten, taken for granted and

thrown away…

you accidentally showed your face–the

          one behind the mask.. scary, it is..

none could probably take the sight,

                  the feeling of seeing you.

for you’re a beast, a ferrocious beast,

     i once believed to be my prince..

never love too deep.. coz someday its like planting a tree where its roots are to hard to be pulled.. thus, its very painful to cut it off..

sometimes  u cannot believe what u see, u have to believe what u feel. and if ever u are going 2 have other people trust u, u must feel that u can trust them 2–even when ur in the dark, even when ur falling..

im tired..

     bored with my life

          inside im hollow and barren..

i seek 4 answers..

     to questions unasked

          and inexistent..

someone came..

      gave me answers..

            filled me,

                 and made me complete.

it felt perfect..

      it seemed real,

          and in a blink, its gone.

now im broken,

      shattered into pieces..

            left unnoticed like a broken glass.

i was once that empty glass,

       was never filled..

             yet useful.

i long to be that one glass

      once again..

              but im broken, lifeless.

i asked for answers and it came..

      but why disappear so soon?

once again, il ask for answers..

      wish for someone to do a miracle..

maybe his love would be enough

      to put me back..

maybe his concern

      would rebuild the broken person in me..

perhaps by then, il never be fragile,

     and be that one glass once again..

           never empty, rather full..

maybe that day would come..

      eventually….